Pre-Parenthood Ideas now a reality check


I’m sure not everyone can share in my “I’m going to be the perfect parent” thoughts, or maybe you did, and you are one of the rare ones that has a perfect angel and get to continue to live in that dream…but not me.  Before I became a parent, I remember going to a restaurant and hearing a child scream or have a melt-down and would think “Get control of your child!  Seriously?  Can you not get them to behave?”  I now of course am at a restaurant with my child having a complete melt-down and look at the young women staring at me and want to scream…”WHATEVER!”  It’s not like I REALLY want him to want to be “ALL DONE” before dinner has even arrived.  Better yet, do you think I wanted him to throw his fork across the table?  Yes…we worked very hard on having him act like this.

Life has a way of throwing us for loops, granted I love my loopy life but one day I had to laugh thinking back to what I envisioned would be my life as a mother.  I would make all my child’s food from scratch (not sure why that EVER came into my head as I have NEVER enjoyed cooking), I would not let my child watch TV until they were in school…I now know so many theme songs to cartoons it’s insane, but my son and I are also able to converse in Dora Spanish and Kai-Lan Chinese, so we have gained some educational information from said cartoons.  I would use cloth diapers to save the environment…I do recycle, and use disposables always (sorry environment for the Pampers).

I remember seeing a parent with their child on one of those Monkey or Dog leashes thinking how horrible that it was.  Although I have not used one, I can definitely see the need for some very “spirited” children who do not like to stay still for anything or anyone.  Pre-parenthood, my child would not need time out because they would be so well behaved and listen to what Momma says.  Spencer will now count for himself when doing something wrong so he knows when to stop so he won’t get time out.  Seriously…it was MUCH easier being a Major in the Army, people actually listened to me.  My 2.5 yr old laughs when I get serious and try to tell him not to do something.  As he is laughing hysterically he’s saying “Momma be happy!”  Which of course makes it extremely hard to no smile…so much for the Army Major…

I would see parents singing or play acting with their children in the stores and would think…wow, do you really have to entertain them that much?  If you live in my area and see a mom sprinting up and down a grocery isle with a little boy laughing hysterically as we sing “Dashing through the snow” any time of the year, YEAH…that may be me.  And guess what?  I LOVE IT…I love singing and making him laugh, and spinning in circles and doing voices, so get over it.

My ideal world of parenthood was shot the day they told me at 20 weeks he wouldn’t live past 2 months.  When he arrived 11 weeks early and spent the first 64 days in the NICU…when he was diagnosed with Rhombencephalosynapsis and I was told he may never walk, talk, roll over, sit up, etc.  He does it all (and some in Spanish & Chinese)…he sings, he laughs, he runs (in his cute little unbalanced chicken kinda way) and he falls a lot.  I try NOT to let him have melt-downs…don’t really have control over that one yet.  He has never been to McDonald’s, but will eat Chinese, German, Thai, Italian and anything else I put in front of him.  He says Please and Thank you and tells me “Sweet Dreams” at night and randomly yells “I love you SOOOO MUCH!”.  NOPE…never thought of all of that when I was single and dreaming of parenthood, it’s way better than any of my dreams.  One day, my husband and I hope to go back out to eat in public with him, but for now have decided it’s more work than fun, so we eat every meal at home or get take away.  It works for us! 

I have to go now…he’s screaming FE-FI-FO-FUM and stomping at the dog to bark, which she will soon, and then the two of them will howl as loud as they both can.  And that…is my wonderful life as a parent….I think I’ll keep it.

My son & I…enjoying life!

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